My First Time

Ahh...got you dirty bastards with my title, didn't I?

Sorry to disappoint. This is the first time I've been tagged in a Meme, so I will be completing mine today!

I was tagged by Alice over at Alice in Averageland. She just started a second blog about healthy eating and losing weight in addition to her awesome primary shenanigans. Go show the girl some love.

Alright, here goes:
Six Random Facts About Myself

1. Link to the person that tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Share six things/habits/quirks about yourself
4. Tag random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs

1. I fantasize all the time about being a guy

...and sometimes wonder if I'd be better at it than being a woman. Sure, my gender comes with perks (and boobs - very excellent), but I'm so horrible at forming friendships with women that I've basically given up on them and surrounded myself with male friends. My mother keeps telling me when they get married I'll have nobody, but I'm too intimidated by women and/or too worn out by the constant cattiness and inevitable guilt tripping that I'm just pathetically inept at even trying.

2. I'm afraid of the dark.

Not in a rational, "fear of the unknown" way, but in a "Lex must turn on every light in the apartment before I'll walk through the front door" kind of way. I always close my closets at night, I never leave my shower curtain drawn, and even when I'm sleeping next to Marco I lock the door. Guess I just don't like people sneaking up behind me.

3. My two biggest fears in life are:

- That my shower water will turn into hydrochloric acid while I'm standing under it. This comes from a Mickey Mouse comic that I read when I was nine where someone replaced Mickey's water with red paint, leading Minnie to believe he was covered in blood. I guess somewhere between that and reading about acid attacks aimed at "immodest" women in Pakistan, I got it in my head that this is a terrifying possibility.

- That my husband will murder me. This has to do with trust. I'm a very distrusting person and have had the rug pulled out from under me way too many times, so I always assume the same will happen in every relationship. Thus, my big fear is trusting someone implicitly, building and affirming that trust over 10 or so years, and then being murdered in my own bed by my husband.

4. I attract psychos, needy guys, or emotionally abusive guys.

I have never deviated from this pattern until I met Marco. Now I don't know what to do with myself. I've had to re-train my brain to convince myself that I deserve things like:
- A say in my sex life if I'm bored
- Flirting innocently
- Being proud of my accomplishments
- Making more money than my partner without wrecking my relationship
- Not giving up my close male friends
- Being who I am, weird quirks and wikipedia-esque brain and all
- Not cooking every night of the week or cleaning up after someone else

5. I do the New York Times Crossword religiously.

I am so competitive that I take pleasure in beating 12 year-old kids in the online game. Or 95 year-old Jewish grandmothers in Brooklyn. Whoever dares challenge me, really. This obsession means that I also read Rex Parker's NYT blog with a passion. I think I may have a crossword crush on him.

6. I have an unfortunate talent

...for getting under people's skin and finding the exact phrase or word that hurts them almost irreparably. I've used it once and then never again because I think it's a disgusting trait about myself, but somehow my brain stores information about people that I can use against them in the future. Most people have the feeling of not having been able to come up with the perfect comeback when being bullied - I always struggle not to spit out the perfect comeback. I've learned it's much better to de-escalate than to revel in Pyrrhic victories. Still, I often wonder if this skill makes me a bad person.


I'm going to tag:
Sparsely Kate
Cheap Thrills
So@24 (because he hates these)
Des
Lyla Lou (I know Alice already tagged you, but we miss you!!!)